We live. We Love. We Love, Love, Love.
On March 27, 2010, a young woman passed away after a valiant struggle of living with Cystic Fibrosis. Despite knowing her time to pass on was near, she fought hard. She fought harder than most of her doctors had every seen someone fight. I never met this woman. In fact, it was a cousin in Poland who first made mention of this woman’s plight in early January to me. She kept a blog of her fight, with hopes a set of lungs would make their way to her — her only chance at life. Each day I opened the blog, with hopes of updates… with fear of none. Each long silence, a wonder of uncertainty. But I knew last night that it would be her last entry. I knew the words she choose to use, indicated a sense of urgency — a sense of end — and was confirmed this morning by a short entry indicating her passing. Her name is Eva Markvoort.
I sit here, typing.
I wonder, What to write?
Heart heavy, heart saddened…
but heart, alive and pumping.
I live for today.
I dream of the future.
I learn from the past.
And yet, amongst uncertainty?
I live.
I live with a healthy heart.
I live with a healthy mind.
I live with a healthy body.
And,
I live with a healthy spirit.
I live with some certainty that
tomorrow will be there.
I live with the knowledge that
for some, it won’t be.
Perhaps for myself, as well?
No one knows.
But, I do know that for today,
and today alone,
I sit,
I think,
I type,
I write.
I live.
Sunrise bright in morning,
Darkness envelopes on eve…
And we rest our heads.
Sometimes with sadness,
Sometimes with joy,
Sometimes with anxiousness,
But sometimes,
Just sometimes,
With absolute peace.
Regret.
It’s actions are as ugly as it sounds.
Regret of our actions.
Regret of our inactions.
I refuse to live
a life of regrets.
The past is past.
The future is future.
The today is here and now.
And in this moment,
No regret.
No wishes or desires or
unfulfilled fantasy.
I live today,
I live now,
I live in this moment.
But someone, somewhere, weeps.
Weeps for loss.
Weeps for their son — their daughter –
Their sister — their brother –
Their mom — their dad –
Their relations.
Weeping, gently.
Weeping, angrily.
Weeping, peacefully.
Weeping, none the less.
Live your life.
Live your life without a regret.
Let not those tears be things
Done or undone.
Let those tears be ones
of genuine heartache and loss
for a love too soon gone.
Let those tears contain bits of
joy and remembrance of things
we lived throughout our lives.
Let those tears contain bits of
pride at things done with love that
we give throughout our lives.
Take this day –
This very day
And do as they say by
Living it as though it were your last.
This very day
And embrace those you love
Let not a single “I love you” be missed
This very day
Leave it knowing you did all you could
And then some…
For if this day –
This very day
Be your last,
Leave knowing you left not a word unspoke
Leave knowing you left not an action undone
Leave knowing you left not a love unloved
Leave knowing you left without regret.
For this day,
This very day,
We Live,
We Laugh,
We Forgive.
But most importantly?
In the words of Eva?
We Love.
Love.
Love.
Please, don’t waste a single day. Live each day as it’s meant. Live each day like it’s your last. Live each day to it’s fullest. And end the day as though all is right with the world. End the day with peace in your heart. End the day content.
Rest in Peace Eva.